Before I go off to bed, I wanted to add this little tidbit:
~I've been doing a lot of thinking. I have so many decisions to make. I'm leaving my options open but seeking the wisdom of God while trusting myself to make the decisions I need to. My typical triple header but I'm excited nevertheless.
~One of my personal debates is buying a house within the next year. I'm entering a program where the city will assist me in buying a home (if I qualify of course). The program gives you a down payment (not a loan) of up to $45,000. I've been going online looking at paint samples, furniture, dinnerware...I'm a dreamer like that. I went into Urban Outfitters and bought 5 cute plastic glasses for $10. Next paycheck I'll buy 5 more. They have nice, unique dinnerware there. So, I pass by often to see when they hit clearance. I guess I'm pre-furnishing my future house.
I'm off to bed now...g'night!
It's been ages since I've blogged here. And yes, I'm back to document my life. I went astray into the uber-commercialized, pseudo-meat market of MySpace. I confess my sin! LOL! Mainly b/c most of my friends are found there. We've all pimp a profile to tell our testimonies, connect with old friends, and to fit our piece to the massive digital puzzle to say "I'm online now". But what it lacks is the connection to people with similar interests. I can't post my art and expect constructive criticism besides "that's cool". I can't research printing techniques or ask a question about "blank". And their groups suck. Besides, I like using this place as a journal. As much as I've tried, I can't keep a paper journal. I have a collection of decorative journals half completed with snippets of my past. I've keep them of course. The empty ones I use to take notes of preachings, project ideas, budgets, bible studies and notes to God. Yes, I write letters to God. I'm guilty of continuing to buy them though...simply because their "pretty". Besides, you never know when I'll commit to writing in one front to back. I'm working on it. So, I'll keep my MySpace open to the casual passerby who's curious to see my top 8 or how I've decorated the space. For now, I'm happy to be back...
Today, I took my med/surg finals. Many people had to past these with a certain score in order to stay in the program. I was one of them. I failed my last set (theory and pharm). I've struggled with sleep, work, and procrastination to study as much as I can. This weekend was busy and I couldn't get much in. I stayed up until 3 a.m and I just couldn't take it anymore. I haven't been doing so well in staying on top of my studies and now I was paying for it. I went to bed praying in my sleep; apologizing for not taking school more seriously, asking for help to pass, and the guidance to make the change to be a better student. When I woke up, I had a sense of peace. I didn't feel the impending doom of my tests. I asked God again for help with the understanding that if I failed, it was on me. I know I didn't deserve his help either but there's nothing wrong with asking b/c he always listens. I made out with a 75 in theory and 78 in pharm. I was so grateful that I passed b/c I know I didn't do it on my own. Now, I need to buckle down and make good on the grace God granted me by hitting the books more. Thank you God for your grace and mercy.
My friend Laura couldn't make it to my birthday dinner last sunday so she took me to the Acropolis Greek Restaurant to make it up. The food was great and the waiter was nice and cute. When he found out that this was a belated birthday supper, he gave me my meal for free!! I need to go over there more often...he he he.
I found out by mid January, we will be done with our classes at Erwin. The rest of the time will be spent in clinicals until graduation. This is great news b/c I can take a couple art classes next semester. I'm currently missing Painting I, 3D design, and my Art Histories. FSU will accept me without them but that would hold back an extra semester; keeping me from taking the higher level courses. If I can at least get one art history out the way, I'll be happy.
I worked in the Spinal Cord Department today at the VA. I cleaned about a dozen wounds. They were gross; some in bad condition from negligence by other hospitals but I wasn't grossed out. It's funny b/c I used to be not to long ago. I give God credit for that...for everything. In nursing school, I've dealt with stuff that I've never experienced before with such an ease and peace. That's how I know I'm going the right direction. When everything works out, within and around me, perfectly without effort. All I do is pray and rely completely on my Love.
I was 2 1/2 hours late to work today! I came home from the VA to take a short catnap which turned into a 3 hour one. I really need to work on that. I may have to go straight to work instead and take a change of clothes. It messed up my studying time too. So I'm going to stay up tonight and try to catch up.
Well, goodnight to you...happy studying for me!
On the way home my throat felt funny. Not pain or yucky stuff, just a little pressure. So I'm making myself some tea before I head to bed.
*brb...kettle is whistling*
Dang it, out of milk and creamer! An old friend of mine from England introduced me to milk in my tea. I'll never forget those nights at her house. I loved just to hear her speak, her accent was a little mousey; it was cute. I went to the Tampa Christian Supply after school. I picked up a book called "Becoming A Woman of Prayer". Even though prayer is one of the simplest things to do; prayer is much more than trying to get God to listen to you. There's an intimacy that's available; a two way conversation between you and the lover of your soul. I've wanted to work on this area of my life so I'm looking forward to what God wants to teach me.
School and work was as usual; we're going over reproductive disorders and diseases so it's interesting. This is the area of nursing I hope to get into. I just have to get over my "skin thing". I can handle all bodily fluids, dead bodies (my first exp. was last week), massive wounds, etc. But if a patient has a "skin thing", I really get itchy! I just have 8 more days until clinicals are over. The experience is great but I'm getting tired; I just want to graduate already. Next, we're going into OB and Pediatrics so i'm looking forward to that.
Greg, my toyota, is doing great. I changed his oil the other day so he's happy! I get my financial aid refund in a few weeks and it's all (or most of it) going to him. I know I need new brake pads, the timing belt and spark plugs replaced, and possibly the tires rotated.
I woke up this morning and realized that my 25th birthday is this Sunday. I didn't really forget (I made plans for that evening) but for some reason I thought it was next weekend. I asked my mom for a Canon XTi Digital SLR. It's a 10MP so it'll be great for bigger prints. I really wanted one so I can photograph church events and stuff. Plus, since I can't learn color until FSU this will do for now. I've been asked to do some weddings too so hopefully it'll be my little money maker too!
Unlike most people I've talked too, I'm really looking forward to turning 25. I see it as such a milestone, not a warning sign that I'm on my way up and over the hill. One thing that I've learned in Christ is to give myself credit for how far I've come and to not look back with regret. I must admit that I'm still working on the regret part but I'm almost there. And trust me, I've come a long way Baby. Another reason that I'm not in a state of woe is when you give your heart to God, eternity begins that second. Yes, one day I will pass away, but it's my body not my soul. Death is just a stage, not the end.
I need to plan for my Tallahassee trip next month. I'm going up to visit FSU and the Art Department. I still don't know if I'm driving or be driven there by Greyhound. I'll be there for at least 2-3 days to get a feel for things. This is one of the reasons I can't wait to graduate from nursing school. I can't deny that Art is my passion and I want to get back to smelling like chemicals and covered with color. I may pass by Tallahassee Memorial Hospital to check things out too. It's the closest facility that I hope to work part-time for while in school. I've been working on scholarships too. I may be a little rusty on my writing but one of my friends was an English major so I'll be knock on his door soon.
Ok, I think I've dump everything I've wanted to say...or type...whatever.
I woke up this morning and felt different. Today, I had to go buy my nursing uniforms. It was fun trying on scrubs; I look so cute! Except for the stupid white pants I have to wear *sigh* Anyway, I'm a tad intimated but I know I'll do fine. I've been fighting to get in for so long and now I'm here! I've been going to HCC for a while; earning my AA and working on my portfolio. I know I've been building a foundation for myself but now I'm moving forward...moving up. In no time I'll graduate and make my next move: out of Tampa and on to art school. In less than 2 years, I could be on my way to Chicago, New York, Indianapolis, Boston, Providence, San Francisco, or Albuquerque.
In less than 2 years....
For those of you that don't know, my camera was stolen last semester from school. I'm a photo student and darkroom tech here so it was a blow to have it taken from me. My boss was cleaning out her storage area this morning and found it hidden in some boxes. I was wide-eyed, speechless, and breathtaken when she brought it to me. The strap is gone but the camera seems to fine. Just had to share the good news! Now all I need is money for paper and film...